Oh your fucking God

Alright people who think they know everything about everything, you don't. Especially all you God fearing people who say condoms and birth control aren't natural. Of course they aren't, but neither is the computer you are reading this on, the clothes you are wearing, the car you drive to work, or the building you work in. So you can all just shut the fuck up and let people make their own choices. Just because somebody decides they want to have sex and not have a baby doesn't mean they don't love God or the person they are having sex with, it just means they don't want a baby and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. What if the mother and baby would die because the mom's body can't handle the stress of carrying a child? Should she just not have sex her whole life or risk her life for 15 minutes of fun and love? She shouldn't have to make that choice just because her church says it's not right.

This is why I don't do the whole church, organized reliigion, bible thing. It's bullshit. If God is real he doesn't care if you go to church or read the Bible. He cares that you are true to yourself and trust in Him.

running in the sun can burn your shit

So once upon a time there was this girl, she was nothing super special or anything, just a girl. One day during the summer after her freshman year she was hanging out with her friend Ashley. Ashley had another friend she wanted to hangout with so they went to her house

2 years later lauren is a fucking bitch and a half.

you know those times where you just want to punch everybody in the face? well taylor makes me feel like that all the time. yea pretty much all i have to say is he's a giant fucking douchebag

i'm a mommy and he's the daddy

taylor decook.

so many things i want to say but just can't put into words, a lot of it isn't very nice either. he really just pisses me off to no end, and i drive myself fucking crazy because even though he does, i still always want him around. i suppose that's where i went wrong. i get all wrapped up in how absolutely perfect he seems to me and am completely blind to flaws. actually only one flaw, he wants absolutely nothing to do with me at all. it's just hard ya know? like, today i was suppose to go hangout with him before he had to work and we had like planned it yesterday, and i knew he didn't exactly want me to come over there but he was at least trying to be nice for once so i wasn't going to waste the opportunity. so i text him when i'm getting ready to go and i'm like "so is it still ok if i come over?" and he gets all shitty like i'm the fucking grim reaper or some shit, so i decided fine i just won't go, then i guess he felt bad or something and was like whatever just come over sorry i got all shitty. so as you may have guess at this point i feel really wanted, ha. so i'm driving and i pull out on lima and i just have a complete break down and ball the whole time i'm driving over there. as i'm coming up to his road and i see his house i get all "i don't need him" and decide "you know what, i'm just not going. i'm gonna keep on driving and not say anything to him about it all." so that's, sorta, what i did. went right past the road, i did only go like 6 miles up lima until i decided that if i didn't go over there at all i would just end up all upset later and be all shitty with myself. so i went over there but i still was carrying around that "i don't need him" attitude, and like didn't sit by him while we watched the movie. while i was sitting there though, i kept thinking "you know i'm just gonna be upset if i don't go sit by him at all." but i just couldn't bring myself to go over by him. i didn't feel like lazy at all though just i wouldn't let myself sit by him. eventually though my back started to kill and i had to move by him so i could lay down. but even now i cold really care less that i didn't sit by him longer. when i got home i was thinking about it and stuff and i came up with my actual feelings about taylor. i really like him, like more than i really let on to anybody no matter how much they think i like him. but the thing is, i like just liking him a whole fuck ton, i don't want to date him like i thought and like i told him. if i dated him i would end up eventually, i'm just guessing here, not liking him quite as much. right now just want to be friends with him and that's it. but when i say friends, i mean like actual friends not this shit like i talk to him once a week if i'm lucky. so i want more than i have now, but not nearly as much as he thinks i want from him. and you know, being the mother of his child i think i at least deserve the friends thing.

babies...

couple of current facts that I now call fate:

• I'm pregnant


• Taylor Decook is the papa


• I am due May fourth

now the reason I find these to be fate: I was just reading an old blog and it said that I was thinking about Taylor and then I said i randomly thought of Juno songs, and Juno is due May fourth, same day as me. weird huh?

nutter butters and bracelet making!

so much to write, no time, no idea how to say it all. i did bad things this summer, but i don't want to talk about my biggest no-no. i didn't go to one party, i didn't play in the sand, i didn't tan, i didn't take long walks with my best friend and obsess over people's grass. i didn't sneak out but once or twice. long story short, SUMMER SUCKED. i was all excited to have my car and shit for the summer, being able to do anything i wanted when i wanted. it didn't happen at all. anything exciting that happened seems soo long ago, the summer flew by without ever really starting. its sad really. this is my second to last high school summer break and i did nothing. i know its totally my fault but mother nature really fucked me up this time around by making it all not summery.
oh well though i suppose can't change it now. i guess i have to make the best of my school year. it should be an exciting one to say the least. scary stuffs about to happen. i hear its going to be my hardest year, my god-daughter is going to be born, i need to get a job. also so far its weird, i'm not as shy, i don't give a FUCK what people think, i seem to already have more friends, i'm not after 2472354 guys. i just sorta feel like i'm getting a hold of life now. i can't say i'm growing up because only those with the mind of a child think they will grow up. life's coming fast and i actually think i'm ready for it. i know what i want to do and will do anything to get there.

also trevor baldwin is pretty much one of the most amazing people i know and i take back 99% of any bad things i said about him, and apologize for the other 1%

ode to the teenage brain

what is it about the mind that compels us to do the most idiotic shit?